hinchley.net

I’ve always been a positive kind of guy. I like to seek out the good in people, including myself, and i generally sport a cheerful and hopeful outlook on life. And yet i tend to think and speak about matters in rather negative terms. When tasked with solving a problem i instinctively focus on what i don’t understand. When offered an idea i immediately identify its shortcomings. When presented with an argument i instantly call out its failings. It’s only after i’ve addressed the areas of weakness that i search for the positives and the possibilities.

However, although this approach has served me well, i’ve come to learn that people are seldom inspired by negativity; even conversation dotted with subtle or indirect negativity can chip away at the subconscious level and leave us feeling despondent, concerned, or simply doubtful. I’ve therefore decided to make a concerted effort to add some positive polish to my dialog. Here’s an example. Instead of the following:

Friend: Are you still coming over for dinner tonight?
Me: I’m not sure if i can make it anymore. I’ll let you know shortly so as not to mess you around.

I could say something like this:

Friend: Are you still coming over for dinner tonight?
Me: I’m not sure if i can make it anymore. I’ll let you know shortly so you’ve plenty of time to plan your evening.

The first snippet finishes on a somewhat sour note: the idea that my friend is being messed around. This is unfortunate, especially since i’ve got their best interests in mind. The second quote finishes on a positive: regardless of my decision, my friend will have plenty of time to prepare their evening.

At first glance the difference may appear slight, but when you round up the 7,000 odd words we speak each day, not to mention the bounty of emails, memos, and other written documents, even a minor splash of positivity will surely leave us all feeling a smidgen brighter.